I've always been a strong believer that if someone wants to spend time with you they will make time for you. Well in any case that's how I've always treated people.
Don't get me wrong there is a definite difference between not making time for someone and being busy. Being busy looks like a some of my friendships where we have to make bookings well in advance (sometimes months) to see each other for more than 5 minutes and so we book our catchups in like appointments so we can have proper catch ups, some of my other friends are like me, happy to make plans at the last minute but also has to have a rough plan for what the week looks like.
Sorry, back to making time - Segway over.
I figure that most people who are on tinder that are ok with dating (as previously pointed out some people only want cuddles but are clear about that from the word go), usually have busy lives that make it difficult to meet a new person outside of their social circle but are happy to make time for a quick drink.
So when I stumbled across a familiar face (sorry this will be slightly vague as he may read this) on tinder I swiped right more so just to see if he was interested in me... And BOOM we had a match. I instantly thought oh dear god, unmatch unmatch unmatch, but he was quicker than I was and sent me a message. In the back of my mind I thought please don't let things get weird between us and we both soon quickly agreed that neither of us wanted to do that, but that we were attracted to each other.
The flirting began and I attempted to book in a date sometime. To start with he said he was very busy with the sport he plays along with his family - best I point out now that he's in his early 30s and still lives at home - bit different in my eyes, but he is such a nice guy that I thought ok let's overlook that for now.
Day 2 or 3 of tindering, I hadn't given him my number and he pretty much asked if he could come join me for a movie at my place, even promised to bring the popcorn and maltesers. Sounded sweet but I really wasn't sure at all so I said no. A few days later I gave in and gave him my number as I was definitely interested in dating this guy.
Days turned into weeks and still no date! Honestly I wondered if he was SO busy with his stuff that he really couldn't fit in an hour for a quick drink to actually have a conversation, that he wasn't interested in it either, but he assured me he was. So when we eventually did get to hang out, it was at my place one night after he'd been at training or the club or something.
He really is a nice guy (with a giant piece!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) but just wasn't interested in me enough to make time. He gave me some story before he came round that he wasn't sure what he wanted and then when here went on to tell me about his exs... Um in my bed and talking about an ex... SHUTUP!!! Not the time or place. He just seemed so confused about everything that it made me confused.
A couple of weeks later I cut him away by being honest and saying he didn't have time, his response was that he was trying to keep everyone happy so I said I was one last person he needed to try to keep happy and gracefully bowed out of that confusion.
I can honestly say I'm disappointed in having to do that but proud that I had the balls to say what I thought without being a bitch.
But really after all this dating, one thing I've learnt is that if someone is interested they'll make time and I'll fit into their lives, not saying I want to be someone's number 1 priority, but I'd like to spend time and get to know someone who's interested in doing the same with me.