Where The Energy Is At
Lately I've seen a few people I follow and know talking about, on social media, embracing and igniting their feminine energy and feeling a huge shift in their lives by doing this. Which made me curious about my own energy and where it's at... so I got googling and reading because I honestly knew nothing about it.
Any one who's read The Secret will actually know what I'm talking about as this all comes from the law of gender... unfortunately before now it didn't interest me. Just to be clear for those who haven't heard of this concept before, I'm not talking about physical or emotional genders or even sexuality, I'm talking about the energy we engage, focus on, hold, play in or however you want to call it. We've all heard of alpha males right? Well that comes from the masculine energy that someone holds.
Immediately I realised from reading just one paper on this (I have read many more), that I engage my masculine energy, probably a solid 90% of the time, I've declared myself many times as an alpha female, a strong independent woman... and the more I learn about myself, the more I'm not ok with this as I desire to engage with my feminine energy a whole lot more than I clearly do.
But having said that, once upon a time, a very long time ago, I unconsciously held myself more in the feminine energy space. This doesn't mean I was weak and didn't have goals?! Hells to the no! But more that I allowed myself to be creative, thoughtful, emotional, assertive, open and vulnerable. Things I only dabble in now.
I can't pinpoint when I changed and kicked into gear my masculine energy, but on reflection, I know it was sometime around when I started to work FIFO and it was during that time that I became 'unemotional', cold hearted (some would say), aggressive (yup!!), impatient, goal driven and really only looking out for number 1, no matter how that impacted people around me (clearly one of the reasons I couldn't hold onto a relationship).
It's interesting that as unaware as I was to focusing on my masculine energy in the past, something this year has me trying to be more harmonious with my feminine energy and the universe is telling me to delve deeper with it (the sign is that it's being put right in front of me on a regular basis now).
What I do know, is that since meeting Dave (and after we got past my ego) I play much more in my feminine energy, but maybe that's because he is very masculine most of the time and I can let go of my masculine to embrace his (although sometimes I'm definitely still holding more masculine energy haha). Whatever the reason, I definitely feel deeper, allow myself to be vulnerable, feel at peace and am getting more creative with things, such as food, something that used to be my number 1 creativity outlet and writing, which I haven't done in WAY TOO LONG.
So here I am, ready to be more open, feel deeper, just be vulnerable (rather than when I choose to be), be instead of do, and commit to working on balancing my energies, for no other reason than because I can.