Ego v Romantic Interest

This blog started out as being about my life, everything as a whole, but over time it turned into a dating blog as I had become a serial dater and it was the highlight of my life for a period when I was unhappy in SO many other parts of my life. Like hating my job, spending time with friends to avoid spending time with myself, training at the gym a lot to try and get the body that I thought would make me happy and that I was 'closet eating' by lying to myself about what was going in my mouth.

So dating guys and being the judgy mcjudge pants chick that I used to be was amusing and kept me distracted from those other things.

I decided that it was time to work on me so 2016 is about me, my health, my dreams and goals, and since the beginning of this year, since moving to Sydney, it would appear from this blog that I wasn't getting amongst the dating scene much because I had been too busy working on me, but to be completely honest, I've dabbled in dating. I went on about 5 or 6 dates, jumped on and off online dating depending on whether I was busy or not, but I was definitely not really looking for something... until it smacked me in the face.

BUT... I had built up some really high walls and big stories around why I was single and I was sticking to them because they were familiar, comfortable and like a safety blanket - hey read between the lines in other posts, I had every excuse going on, even the one that I am unemotional, who was I kidding?!

So after an awesome week and being completely on the same page with this amazing, caring and super cute guy, who crazily enough liked me back, my ego decided to get in my way, which took the form of me going through a very large list of excuses on why it wouldn't work, why I couldn't be with him and why it was better for me to be alone, ESPECIALLY while I'm still working on me and being happy, and that was that... I had to be alone and single to achieve my big goals (I know I'm nuts right?!).

Thankfully part of the health & wellness approach I've been taking involves a LOT of personal growth, so when I was at a training session 3 days later and a guy from my home city who really resonates with me, was straight up and said 'nothing has meaning until you give it one', I realised I needed to get out of my own way and comfort zone.

I am very very lucky that he still felt the same, even though I had been a complete bitch and idiot, because now things are incredible between us, better than I could have ever imagined.

Now I'm SO excited for where this is going, what we will do together and recognise how awesome life truly is for me right now!!!


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