He was different

I've written about this guy in my earlier posts, there was something about him.

After getting back on the dating bandwagon, I went on a couple of dates and was close to cutting it away, and admitting that I was going to be alone for a whole lot longer... And then we got a match.

I'm not going to use his name coz there is a possibility he may read this :/

I wasn't super interested in him to start as he was so inconsistent, one day would send a bunch of messages and then nothing for days. But after a little holiday to Sydney to see Dick, I decided to just say yes and organised for us to meet.

Evidence that I was not so interested was that I wore flats (never did that on dates), wore my hair up and dressed very casually - as in I put in very little effort appearance wise.

We went to one of my fave pubs for cheeky drinks on a Thursday night, he was late... So that was strike one, then we just kinda hit it off. For me it was that infamous 'click' that people talk about and hunt. To me I thought it was mythical and definitely told my head that this wasn't happening.

But it was a great date and during it we talked about a second and third date. That was great especially as half way through I'd been thinking - 'does he like me'.

We then proceeded to have our next 2 dates very close together, second date included an awkward kiss and by the end of the third the kiss was amazing! 

We didn't see each other for over a week as we both had gone away, interstate for the wedding of the year for me and he was overseas, so there was no contact. So when we met up for date four, it was dinner and a movie at his place which got very steamy.

I will admit that I hooked up at the wedding, which was also good times haha - sorry that was a side note.

Things were going great for weeks after that catching up once a week, and for me I was really enjoying where things were going. Everything was so easy (let's note the was) and for the first time in a long time, I just wanted to keep going with the flow.

But obviously that's not what happened because we aren't dating anymore.

Apparently I complicated things by saying casually one night that I wasn't seeing anyone else and I'd stopped going on tinder... Now I'd like to point out I just put it out there coz he'd made a comment earlier that night about me seeing someone else. I didn't expect anything back and just wanted to state my positition. 

The next couple of dates were very awkward. He felt it was time to open the ex files (something I'm so very against when dating) and tell me a story of how he wanted to be single when he goes to the US on holidays in August (this was in April mind you), that apparently I deserved better than he could offer me and some other stuff about his ex. Me being me, asked some questions then zoned out, but I clearly remember him saying he still wanted to see me, so that was good... The next week he insisted on continuing the conversation, which included him telling me he really liked me and he could see himself with me, so I backed him into a corner and made him make a decision - to continue or not... 

He chose not. 

I'll admit it this broke me and have only been on one date (terrible!!!) since and I often still think of him.

All along I feel like I should've said how much I was into him or something to change his mind... But I also know deep down there was no changing his mind, he just didn't want to be the one to end something so good.

We still text every now and then, made tentative plans to meet up that he keeps cancelling or not locking in a solid time/place... So the balls in his court, if he wants to catch up I'm leaving it to him to organise because I'm not prepared to be rejected by him again.